If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
