I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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