It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
