As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
