airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
