I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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