i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
