oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
My underwear smells like fireworks.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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