Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
