It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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