I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
