My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize