I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
