you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
