Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
