I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
