i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
