i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
