Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
