youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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