planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize