well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize