this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
