Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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