Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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