He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
