At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
