Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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