i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
People in love make me want to vomit
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
