her vagine was all disorganized.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
