Yo dont text me then not text me
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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