my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
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