the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
