take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize