names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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