i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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