Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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