He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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