Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
