Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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