You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
