I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
