dude i'm inner monologue high
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
