im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
