Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
zippers are such a cool invention
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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