yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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