i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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