Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
