We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
