took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
