I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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