So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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