Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
thus making me awesome and them whores
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
