i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
