Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You did what with his pubic hair?
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