My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
