I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
